How do I know if I NEED a doula?

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Do I actually need a doula?” — you’re not alone.

Most women land on my website because they’re curious, not because they’re anxious or panicked (though if you are, you’re not alone in that either!).

Most have had a friend rave about having a doula. Or the word was mentioned in passing and they got wondering, or they’ve listened to a birth podcast and realised birth is a whole lot more complex (and powerful) than Hollywood ever made it look.

But here’s the thing most people get wrong:

You don’t hire a doula because you’re a fragile flower who needs hand holding. You hire a doula because your birth REALLY matters and you want to stack the odds in your favour for a positive birth!!

There’s a misconception that doulas are only for the anxious, the fearful, the “I need someone to hold my hand because I can’t cope” type. But actually, some of the most robust, capable, incredibly grounded women I’ve supported were the ones who knew… “I shouldn’t have to do this alone. And neither should my partner.”

So let’s break down whether a doula is actually for you and work out if you need one.

1. You want your partner to feel confident — not overwhelmed.

A doula isn’t a replacement for your partner. She’s a support system for them, too.

In labour, your partner wears many hats: comforter, advocater, timekeeper, snack-fetcher, the person trying to remember “what was that thing Alice said about the pelvis??”

Having a doula means they don’t have to be your walking birth textbook and your emotional anchor at the same time. They get to be present, connected and supported — instead of stressed and worried about what to say or do next.

2. You want to feel prepared, not perfect.

You don’t need to be a Type A planner to appreciate having someone who knows birth inside out.

Whether you’re:

• super laid-back

• extremely organised

• going with the flow

• or somewhere in between

…a doula helps you understand how your body works, what your options are, and how to make decisions that feel right for you. This is especially important if you’re birthing in the system, as this kind of evidence based information can be hard to find.

3. You want continuity of care.

Gosford Hospital on the Central Coast has amazing midwives — but shifts change. People rotate. Labour can span many hours.

A doula is the one person who stays with you the entire time.

She learns your preferences, your fears, your hopes, your “do NOT tickle me” zones, your partner’s style, and the vibe that helps you feel safe no matter who else is in the room.

That consistency is gold, and it’s really hard to come by in the system (yes, even if you’re in MGP there’s no guarantees!)

4. You care about your birth experience — not just the outcome.

Yes, a healthy baby is everything. But how you feel during birth matters just as much.

You deserve to feel powerful, respected, and supported — not swept along in a system that often moves fast and forgets you’re a human having one of the biggest days of your life.

A doula helps protect that experience for you, and helps you remain in the driver’s seat.

So… do you “need” a doula?

If you value support, care, confidence, continuity, and feeling grounded during birth — then yes.

Not because you’re anxious. Not because something is wrong.

But because birth is bigger than just “getting through it,” and you deserve someone in your corner every step of the way.

Even the strongest women benefit from a doula — and often, they’re the ones who know it early.

If this resonates and you’re curious about what doula support could look like for your birth, I’d love to chat.

You can book a connect call right here, no matter if you’re 38 weeks or 8 weeks… I’d love to meet you!